My Life in the 40s

Nope, I didn't get the job. Someone with an MBA wanted a $30K year job. I'm not ready to dust myself off yet, but I don't want to slip into a depression, either. I really feel like hell and it would be really easy to just curl up in a ball and hid for awhile.

I may have a job - at least, I have the most promising interview I've had in a long time. It's a lateral move, both professionally and financially, and the benefits are not the best, but it's a job. And if I get it, I need to start right away.

I was planning to use the next two weeks when the Boy is at camp to do projects around the house - finally get my garage, laundry room and other cluttered areas in my house in some semblance of order. I've had all year to do this, but when do I start? Yesterday, when I finally dumped 5 bags of garbage from the laundry room (with more to come.) And now, if things go well, I won't have the rest of the summer to do this stuff.

I've been promising the Boy a new desk before school started, and I found a cool one at a yard sale. It's not really a desk, it's an old-fashioned kitchen table with an enamel top. He wanted black paint - I think red would be better in his room, but he wants the walls black, so this is a compromise. Maybe if we get him red desktop stuff.

I now understand why my mother sent me away to camp for the whole summer. The Boy is bored out of his mind and has nothing much to do. Last year wasn't so bad - he had 2 weeks of day camp, plus we took 10 days of vacation, and after that we spent the whole summer at the country club. Now we've put the country club membership on hold, and, although we still belong to a gym with a pool, unless we know that friends will be there, he doesn't want to go. It's not fun for him without other kids.

I'm feeling terrible that I can't send him to his favorite day camp for the whole summer. Hopefully next year I'll be gainfully employed and he can go. Grandma is paying for one week.

I've been letting him play Pirates of the Caribbean online and teaching him how to play blackjack so he can win gold pieces to buy pirate ships. This is not my proudest mothering moment.

Oh, how I miss Stella. She drove me crazy, with her bleaching my clothes that I didn't want her to wash and singing, loudly and off key, to the music blaring from her headphones, but man, did she clean. Like the little lady in Poltergeist, on leaving a house, she declared it clean.

I hate housework. HATE it. And it shows in my house. My bathroom is really gross and I have to clean it and I dread it. Absolutely dread it. I'm doing all sorts of things to put it off. Cleaning the kitchen. Pulling weeds. Typing a blog post. Anything, anything, to avoid going near that nasty bathroom.

So I am still looking for a job. There seem to be more openings lately, which is good, but lots of people applying. I heard there were 200 applicants for one of the jobs I applied for. I'm up for something I think I would like, but won't know if I even get a face-to-face interview until next week. The screening process is brutal.

I got called for a 2-month temp job at a bank downtown, but when I said that I might have to call off to interview and would leave if I got the job, I was off the list. I told the recruiter when I went down there that I wanted just short-term assignments, and 2-3 days a week would be perfect, unless it were somewhere where I'd like to work permanently. It also looks like there are some university jobs opening up, thanks to the stimulus bill.

The Man was supposed to have a closing on a listing that had been on the market for over a year. Two doctors can't get the loan they were pre-qualified for. It's been postponed 3 times. Not good.

This may be our last year, or at least one of our last years, for Santa Claus. The Boy is already surrounded by doubters, yet he still believes. Perhaps he's not ready to let go of his childhood too soon. Perhaps he is inspired by the magic of Christmas, the spirit of giving and the visions of sugar plums that dance in his head.

Or perhaps he wants to believe that he is getting a Wii for Christmas, like Santa promised last year.

It doesn't matter. He still believes.

How did the time go by so quickly?

I took a nice summer break, only to start looking for a job just as unemployment hit a new high and the markets tanked. Now that's timing!